99+ Hilarious Computer Jokes For Kids That Don’t Byte

    99+  Hilarious Computer Jokes For Kids That Don’t Byte

 

Are your kids obsessed with computers? Tell them these hysterical computer jokes for kids that don’t “Byte”. These jokes won’t make your kids go to sleep from inactivity of not laughing! Be sure to check out our whole list for non-stop laughter and fun!

 

 

Q: What is the spider such a good computer programmer?

 

A: It knows all about the web.

 

Q: Why does the computer keep coughing?

 

A: It has a virus.

 

Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime?

 

A: Had a byte!

 

Q: How do you stop your laptop’s charge running out?

 

A: You hide its trainers.

 

Q: What are laptops favorite snacks?

 

A: Computer chips.

 

Q: What does a baby computer call his father?

 

A: Data!

 

Q: How does a computer eat computer chips?

 

A: With mega-bytes.

 

Q: Why are elephants just like computers?

 

A: They both have lots of memory.

 

Q: What is a computer virus?

 

A: A terminal illness!

 

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a computer?

 

A: Bits of plastic all over the floor.

 

Q: Why shouldn’t you be scared of what you get when you cross a computer with a dog?

 

A: Its bark is worse than its byte.

 

Q: Why was there a bug in the computer?

 

A: Because it was looking for a byte to eat?

 

Q: Why did the computer go to the opticians?

 

A: It needed to improve its web-sight.

 

Q: Why was the computer bad at tennis?

 

A: It tried to surf the net.

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a computer and a life guard?

 

A: A screensaver!

 

Q: How did the surfer break his computer?

 

A: He tried to surf the web.

 

Q: What is an alien’s favourite key on a keyboard?

 

A: The space bar.

 

Q: Who chases computer criminals?

 

A: A hacker-tracker.

 

Q: Why did PowerPoint cross the road?

 

A: To get to the other slide.

 

Q: What do doors, pianos, and computers all have in common?

 

A: They have keys.

 

Q: Why was the computer late?

 

A: It had a hard drive.

 

Q: Who did the computer call when it was in trouble?

 

A: A screen-saver.

 

Q: How did the burglar steal the computer’s things?

 

A: It had left a window open.

 

Q: How did the prisoner escape computer jail?

 

A: He pressed the escape key.

 

Q: Which football team loves computers?

 

A: Leeds United.

 

Q: Which of Cinderella’s friends is always on her computer?

 

A: Buttons.

 

Q: Why did the keyboards break up?

 

A: They weren’t each other’s type.

 

Q: How do trees get on computers?

 

A: They log on.

 

Q: Why was the computer so chilly?

 

A: Someone left the window open.

 

Q: Why did the duck put his feet in the computer?

 

A: He wanted webbed feet.

 

 

Q: Why did the chicken cross the keyboard?

 

A: To get to the other site.

 

Q: What do you call a policeman crossed with a computer?

 

A: P.C. PC

 

Q: What does Steve Jobs like to order from McDonald’s?

 

A: A big Mac.

 

Q: What do people who like waterproof clothing and Apple Geniuses have in common?

 

A: They like macs.

 

Q: How did the computer escape when it was locked in the house?

 

A: He got a window open.

 

Q: How did people know Bill Gates farted at Apple HQ?

 

A: There was no Windows.

 

Q: Why was the computer proud of its son?

 

A: The son was a micro-chip off the old block.

 

Q: What’s the woodcutter’s favorite bit of his new computer?

 

A: Logging in.

 

Q: How many computer programmers are needed to put in a light bulb?

 

A: None, it’s a hardware issue.

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a crocodile?

 

A: A mega biter.

 

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a freezer?

 

A: Cold, hard data.

 

Q: Why did WiFi marry the computer?

 

A: They had a connection.

 

Q: Why does the cat sit on the computer?

 

A: To keep an eye on the mouse.

 

Q: Why can’t the boa constrictor use the computer anymore?

 

A: It ate the mouse.

 

Q: Where do the coolest mice live?

 

A: In their mouse-pads.

 

Q: What made the computer squeak?

 

A: Someone stepping on its mouse.

 

Q: Why don’t elephants use computers?

 

A: They’re scared of its mouse.

 

Q: What did one mouse say to the other mouse?

 

A: I get a click out of you.

 

Q: What do you get if you cross a computer and a flying carpet?

 

A: A mousemat.

 

 

Q: Why was there cheese in the keyboard?

 

A: The mouse liked a snack.

 

Q: What do you call the woman who married the internet?

 

A: The wife-i.

 

Q: How did the fisherman break his computer?

 

A: When he went fishing, he tried to use the internet.

 

Q: How did the boy break the school computer?

 

A: His PE teacher told him to kick the ball in the net.

 

Q: How did Granny get her head stuck in the computer?

 

A: She wanted to put her hair in a net.

 

Q: Why don’t people like shopping on the Internet?

 

A: Their shopping trolly rolls off the back of the computer.

 

Q: Why do people not like the Internet?

 

A: It has a huge e-go.

Doctor, doctor, I might be a computer?

 

How long have you felt like this?

 

Ever since I was switched on!

 

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a computer.

 

You’d better get to the hospital right away!

 

I can’t, my cable won’t reach that far.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a laptop.

 

You’re just run down, let me give you some medicine.

 

No, thanks. But I could do with some new batteries.

Doctor, doctor, I don’t think I’m a computer anymore; I’m a computer desk.

 

Stop letting things get on top of you.

 

Doctor, Doctor, my little brother thinks he’s a computer.

 

Well, bring him in for an appointment.

 

I can’t, I need to use him to finish my homework.

 

Doctor, doctor, can I browse the Internet on an empty stomach?

 

No, you should always do it on a computer.

Dentist, Dentist, am I a computer?

 

Why would you think that?

 

I have a blue tooth.

Q: Have you seen the maths website?

 

A: Yes, it added a lot to my day.

Have you seen the whoopee cushion website?

 

I’ve only just got wind of it.

 

Q: Have you seen the wind website?

 

A: Yes, it really blew me away.

Q: Have you seen the train website?

 

A: Yes – it’s just the ticket.

Q: Have you seen the cow website?

 

A: No – haven’t spotted it so far.

Q: Have you seen the pins website?

 

A: Yes, I was really bowled over.

 

Q: Have you seen the counting sheep website?

 

A: Yes, but it put me to sleep.

 

Q: Have you seen the new hot cross bun website?

 

A: Yes, it’s my currant favorite!

 

Q: Have you seen the cloud website?

 

A: Yes, but it went right over my head.

 

Q: Have you seen the history website?

 

A: Yes, but not for a really long time.

 

Q: Have you seen the science website?

 

A: Yes, it was pretty explosive.

 

Q: Why did the computer get glasses?

 

A: To improve its websight

 

 

Q: Where do computers go to dance?

 

A: The disk-o.

 

Q: Why couldn’t the dinosaur play games on the computer?

 

A: Because he ate the mouse.

 

Q: What happened when the computer geeks met?

 

A: It was love at first site.

 

Q: What did mommy spider say to baby spider?

 

A: You spend too much time on the web.

 

Q: What’s a computer geek’s favorite snack?

 

A: Microchips.

 

Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?

 

A: This won’t hurt a byte.

 

Q: What type of a computer does a horse like to eat?

 

A: A Macintosh

 

Q: Why did the spider take a laptop to the beach?

 

A: So it could surf the web.

 

Q: Where do computers keep their money?

 

A: In a data bank

 

Q: What’s the best way to learn about computers?

 

A: Bit by bit

 

Q: How did the computer get out of the house?

 

A: He used windows.

 

Q: How do computer programmers make extra money in the summer?

 

A: They take on part-time jobs helping campers get rid of bugs!

 

Q: What did the turkey say to the computer?

 

A: Google, google, google!

 

Q: What do rabbits put in their computers?

 

A: Hoppy disks!

 

Q: What do you call a computer superhero?

 

 

A: A Screen Saver.

 

Happy new week to you!