Teacher Jokes For Everyday Of The School Year

     Teacher Jokes For Everyday Of The School Year

 

Teacher jokes are a great way to get a student’s attention!

 

It doesn’t matter how great the lesson is if the Teacher doesn’t get their student’s attention the lesson will be a failure.

 

The key to getting a kid’s attention is to be funny, authentic and have the student’s best interest at heart.

 

While the last two are up to you we can help you with the being funny part.

 

We have come up with a joke for each of the days the kids are at school and separated them by the month.

 

You will see that starting off or ending each day with good teacher jokes will put your students in the right mindset for an amazing day.

 

 

August Jokes (Back To School)

 

 

Day 1:

 

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses on the first day of school?

 

She heard her classes were super bright!

 

Day 2:

 

What do turtles do when the first day of school is over?

 

They Shell-abrate!

 

Day 3:

 

Why don’t bubbles like to go to school?

 

They can’t handle the POP quizzes!

 

Day 4:

 

What did the crayon say to the colored pencil?

 

What’s your point! or Looking Sharp!

 

Day 5:

 

What did the math book say to the chapter book?

 

Ha, You thought you had problems !?! or You can count on me!

 

Day 6:

 

What school supply is the real King or Queen of the classroom?

 

The Ruler!

 

Day 7:

 

What does a Math Teacher climb for fun?

 

A Geometry!

 

Day 8:

 

Why did the student eat his/her homework?

 

S/he didn’t have a dog!

 

Day 9:

 

What do you get when you throw a lot of books in the ocean?

 

A Title Wave!

 

Day 10:

 

How can you make the school year fly by?

 

Just throw a clock in the classroom!

Day 11:

 

Why can’t basketball players go to Elementary School?

 

They have to go directly to High School!

 

Day 12:

 

What dinosaur has the best vocabulary?

 

Thesaurus-Rex

 

Day 13:

 

Why didn’t the teacher jump into the pool?

 

S/he wanted to TEST the water first!

 

Day 14:

 

Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?

 

Because they love the “C” too much!

 

Day 15:

 

How do bees get to school?

 

They ride the school buzz!

 

Day 16:

 

What kind of candy do kids eat on the playground?

 

Recess Pieces

 

Day 17:

 

Why do people think owls are so smart?

 

It’s because they are good at Owl-gebra!

 

Day 18:

 

What is a pirates favorite subject?

 

Arrrrrrt

 

Day 19:

 

What is smarter than a talking dog?

 

A Spelling Bee

 

Day 20:

 

What is a smart student’s favorite candy?

 

Smarties

 

 

September Jokes (More Funny Jokes)

 

 

Day 1:

 

What is a tree’s least favorite month?

 

Sep-timber

 

Day 2:

 

Where do you take a bad rainbow?

 

To prism

 

Day 3:

 

What plays music in your hair?

 

A headband

 

Day 4:

 

Why are reptiles so good at solving problems?

 

They are good investi-gators!

 

Day 5:

 

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

 

“Aye, Matey” (I’m Eighty)

 

Day 6:

 

What do cows favorite game to play?

 

Truth or Dairy

 

Day 7:

 

Which Star Wars character do pirates like the best?

 

Arrrr2-D2

 

Day 8:

 

What do you get when you mix an elephant and a skunk?

 

A smelly-phant

 

Day 9:

 

What does peanut butter wear to bed?

 

Pa-jammies

 

Day 10:

 

What do monkeys eat for lunch?

 

Gorilla cheese sandwiches

 

Day 11:

 

What is a pig’s favorite thing to do at home?

 

They like bacon cakes!

 

Day 12:

 

What do you get if you are allergic to pasta?

 

Macaroni and Sneeze

 

Day 13:

 

What do you call a snake without clothes

 

S-naked

 

Day 14:

 

How does the sun day hello?

 

With a heatwave!

 

Day 15:

 

What is the funniest time of the day?

 

Laughter-noon

 

Day 16:

 

Why did little girl like vegetables so much?

 

She was a Kinder-gardener!

 

Day 17:

 

When is a wig too expensive?

 

When you have toupee!

 

Day 18:

 

What is Mickey Mouse’s favorite type of car?

 

A Minnie-van

 

Day 19:

 

What is an astronaut’s favorite drink?

 

Gravi-tea

 

Day 20:

 

Why can you always trust a fisherman?

 

They always keep it reel!

 

Parent-Teacher conferences are coming up soon now that September is over. Teacher Jokes are a great way to make learning fun but having a plan for your child’s conferences is even more important. To get great tips, check out our article Points To Discuss In A Parent-Teacher Meeting

 

October Jokes (Halloween)

 

Day 1:

 

What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?

 

Bootees

 

Day 2:

 

How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

 

With a pumpkin patch

 

Day 3:

 

Why is a witch good at writing?

 

They are good spellers!

 

Day 4:

 

What is a monster’s favorite ride at the fair?

 

A roller-ghoster

 

Day 5:

 

Which monster is the best dancer?

 

The boogieman

 

Day 6:

 

What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?

 

Wrap music

 

Day 7:

 

Why is Dracula so good at baseball?

 

He is a good bat-ter!

 

Day 8:

 

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

 

He had no-body to go with!

 

Day 9:

 

What is a ghost’s favorite nursery rhyme?

 

Little Boo Peep

 

Day 10:

 

Why did the zombie not go to school?

 

He felt rotten!

 

Day 11:

 

What did the circle say to the triangle?

 

I can see your point!

 

Day 12:

 

What do you call a toothless bear?

 

A gummy bear

 

Day 13:

 

What is a vampires favorite fruit?

 

Neck-tarines

 

Day 14:

 

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

 

Because 7 ate 9

 

Day 15:

 

What bear is the scariest?

 

Winnie the Boo

 

Day 16:

 

What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

 

Sham-boo

 

Day 17:

 

Why did Dracula host the Super Bowl Party?

 

Because he had a big scream TV!

 

Day 18:

 

What do you call a werewolf with a fever?

 

A hot dog!

 

Day 19:

 

Where do baby monsters go during the day?

 

They go to day-scare!

 

Day 20:

 

What happens when a ghost gets hurt?

 

They get a BOO Boo!

 

Teacher jokes can help lighten up a serious classroom but if a student is having behavior issues even jokes may not be the solution. Check out our article How To Help A Child With Behavior Problems At School for more information.

 

November Jokes (Thanksgiving)

 

Day 1:

 

What is the most negative month of the year?

 

No-vember

 

Day 2:

 

What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?

 

Pumpkin-Pi

 

Day 3:

 

What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?

 

Apple Gobbler

 

Day 4:

 

What is Dracula’s favorite holiday?

 

Fangs-giving

 

Day 5:

 

Why are turkeys always the best drummers?

 

Because they have the best drumsticks!

 

Day 6:

 

Why did the turkey cross the road?

 

To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

 

Day 7:

 

Why are turkeys always the first ones done eating?

 

Because they always gobble, gobble their food!

 

Day 8:

 

What is the key to an amazing Thanksgiving?

 

The tur-key!

 

Day 9:

 

What sound does a turkey’s phone make?

 

Wing, wing!

 

Day 10:

 

Why can’t a turkey ever hit a home run?

 

They are always hitting fowl balls!

 

Day 11:

 

Why should you never make box potatoes for Thanksgiving?

 

Grandma would turn over in her grave-y

 

Day 12:

 

Why does everyone get sleepy during Thanksgiving?

 

Everyone uses Nap-kins!

 

Day 13:

 

What is the cutest time of year?

 

Awwwtumn!

 

Day 14:

 

What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?

 

Straw-berries

 

Day 15

 

What did one leaf say to the other leaf?

 

I’m falling for you!

 

Day 16

 

How do leaves get from place to place?

 

In their Autumn-mobile!

 

Day 17

 

Why did the apple cry?

 

Because his peelings were hurt!

 

Day 18

 

Why don’t trees like going to school?

 

Because they’re always getting stumped!

 

Day 19

 

What is a plant’s favorite drink?

 

Root-beer

 

Day 20

 

How do trees get onto the internet?

 

It’s easy, they just Log-On

 

The Holidays are almost here and if you have a little one that will be heading to Kindergarten next school year you will want to be prepared. Check out our checklist for ways to get them ready.

 

December (Holidays)

 

Day 1:

 

What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?

 

Orna-mints!

 

Day 2:

 

What is a cow’s favorite holiday?

 

Moo-years!

 

Day 3:

 

What does a ginger breadman sleep with?

 

A cookie sheet!

 

Day 4:

 

What always falls but never needs a Band-Aid?

 

Snow!

 

Day 5:

 

Why is it so cold during hanukkah?

 

Because it is in Decemberrrrr!

 

Day 6:

 

What do Santa’s Elves learn at school?

 

The Elf-abet!

 

Day 7:

 

What does a snowman take when the sun gets too hot?

 

A chill pill!

 

Day 8:

 

What is a snowman’s favorite thing for dinner?

 

An iceburger!

 

Day 9:

 

What did the snowman say to the snowwoman?

 

It’s Ice to meet you!

 

Day 10:

 

How does a snowman get to the North Pole?

 

By Icicle!

 

Day 11:

 

What is an Elf’s favorite part of school?

 

Snow and Tell!

 

Day 12:

 

What type of car do Elfs drive?

 

A Toy-ota!

 

Day 13:

 

What is Santa’s favorite dessert?

 

Ice Krispy Treats!

 

Day 14:

 

What is a girl snowman called?

 

A Snow-Ma’am

 

Day 15:

 

How does Rudolph know when it’s Christmas?

 

He looks at a Calen-deer!

 

Day 16:

 

Which reindeer on Sant’s sleigh had bad manners?

 

Rude-olph!

 

Day 17:

 

What’s the difference between Hanukkah and a dragon?

 

One lasts eight nights and the other sometimes ate Knights!

 

Day 18:

 

What is Santa’s Favorite sandwich?

 

Peanut butter and Jolly!

 

Day 19:

 

What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?

 

A snowball!

 

Day 20:

 

Where do snowmen go dancing?

 

The Snow Ball!

 

January Jokes ( Winter)

 

Day 1:

 

Why do New Year’s Resolutions never work?

 

Because they go in one year and out the other!

 

Day 2:

 

Why did the kid cross the playground?

 

To get to the other slide!

 

Day 3:

 

Why didn’t the banana go to school?

 

It wasn’t peeling well!

 

Day 4:

 

Why is there not a clock in the Media Center?

 

It tocks too much!

 

Day 5:

 

Why was the broom late for school?

 

It over-swept!

 

Day 6:

 

Why don’t you give Elsa from the movie Frozen a balloon?

 

Because She will ” Let it goooo”

 

Day 7:

 

What is a snakes favorite subject in school?

 

Hisss-tory!

 

Day 8:

 

Why is it dangerous to do math in the wild?

 

Because if you add four plus four you get ate!

 

Day 9:

 

Why can’t your hands be twelve inches long?

 

Because it would be a foot!

 

Day 10:

 

Is it better to be hot or cold when playing tag during recess?

 

Hot because you can always catch a cold!

 

Day 11:

 

Did you hear about the kidnapping (kid-napping) at school?

 

It’s OK, he woke up!

 

Day 12:

 

What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

 

Thunderwear!

 

Day 13:

 

Why doesn’t the sun have to go to school?

 

It’s bright enough!

 

Day 14:

 

Why do Koala bears always get hired?

 

Because they are the most Koala-fied!

 

Day 15

 

What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper?

 

A Fizzz-ician!

 

Day 16

 

Where do you put barking dogs?

 

In a barking lot!

 

Day 17

 

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?

 

Swimming Trunks!

 

Day 18

 

Why couldn’t the kid see the pirate movie?

 

It was rated ARRR!

 

Day 19

 

What did Tennessee?

 

The same thing Arkansas!

 

Day 20

 

Why do bees have sticky hair?

 

Because they have honeycombs!

 

February Jokes (Valentine’s Day)

 

Day 1:

 

What do you say to an octopus on Valentine’s Day?

 

I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

 

Day 2:

 

What kind of flowers should you never give on Valentine’s Day?

 

Cauliflowers!

 

Day 3

 

What Valentine’s Day candy is best to give a girl?

 

Her-She Kisses!

 

Day 4

 

What is the best thing to tell a watermelon on Valentine’s Day?

 

You’re one in a melon!

 

Day 5

 

Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

 

Because he wanted sweet dreams!

 

Day 6

 

What did one volcano say to the other?

 

I lava you!

 

Day 7

 

What do you call a very small Valentine?

 

A Valen-tiny!

 

Day 8

 

What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp?

 

Stick with me and you’ll go places!

 

Day 9

 

What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time?

 

ChocoLATE!

 

Day 10

 

What did one blueberry say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

 

I love you berry much!

 

Day 11

 

What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine’s Day?

 

You’re purr-fect!

 

Day 12

 

What did the whale say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?

 

Whale you be mine!

 

Day 13

 

What did one owl say to the other owl on Valentine’s Day?

 

Owl be yours!

 

Day 14

 

What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day?

 

My heart beats for you!

 

Day 15

 

Why does Cupid love triangles?

 

Because they’re acute!

 

Day 16

 

Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?

 

Because you can party heart-y!

 

Day 17

 

What did one flame say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

 

We’re a perfect match!

 

Day 18

 

What did Pilgrims give each other on Valentine’s Day?

 

Mayflowers!

 

Day 19

 

Which animal shares the most love?

 

A heartvaark!

 

Day 20

 

What did the bat say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

 

Let’s hang out!

 

March Jokes (St. Paddy’s Day)

 

Day 1:

 

What is a leprechaun’s favorite type of music?

 

Sham-rock!

 

Day 2

 

What’s Irish and stays out all night?

 

Paddy O’Furniture!

 

Day 3

 

What kind of bow can’t be tied?

 

A rainbow!

 

Day 4

 

Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?

 

Regular rocks are too heavy!

 

Day 5

 

Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover?

 

You don’t want to press your luck!

 

Day 6

 

What do you call an Irishman bouncing off the walls?

 

Rick O’Shay!

 

Day 7

 

Where can you always find gold on St. Patty’s Day?

 

In the dictionary!

 

Day 8

 

Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?

 

Because they’re very short-tempered!

 

Day 9

 

What position did the leprechaun play on the baseball team?

 

Shortstop!

 

Day 10

 

What musical instrument do show-offs play on St. Patrick’s Day?

 

They play the brag-pipes!

 

Day 11

 

What did the leprechaun say on March 17?

 

Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

 

Day 12

 

When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?

 

When it’s a French fry!

 

Day 13

 

Why was the broom late?

 

It over-swept!

 

Day 14

 

What did the frog order at the diner?

 

French flies and a Diet Croak!

 

Day 15

 

How do you spot a modern spider?

 

He doesn’t have a web, he has a website!