Cool Funny Jokes--Really Funny And Cool Jokes For Adults

Cool Funny Jokes

 

Let's read Really Funny Jokes about Cool Funny Jokes, Funny cool jokes

 

 

cool funny jokes

 

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

 

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

 

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

 

Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

 

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

 

I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

 

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

 

Never laugh at your girlfriends choices... your one of them.

 

Cool funny jokes for kids

 

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

 

When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.

 

Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.

 

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.

 

Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.

 

Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

 

I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.

 

How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?

 

Cool funny jokes for adult

 

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't

 

Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman

 

Never get on one knee for a girl who won't get on two for you

 

I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I'll start calling them traditions

 

My wife had her driver's test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear

 

Little Red Riding Hood walks all alone through the deep dark wood. Suddenly she hears rustling in a thick bush. Cautiously she moves the branches aside and finds herself facing the big bad wolf.

 

"Oh, Big Bad Wolf, why do you have such huge red eyes?" 

 

"Go away! I'm crapping!" 

 

 

Why don‘t cannibals eat divorced women?

 

Because they’re bitter.

 

 

A nice old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He’s happy to take some and, munching, asks her why she isn’t having any herself.

 

“Oh, young man,” she says, “they’re too hard on my poor teeth, I couldn’t.”

 

“Why buy them at all then?” wonders the driver.

 

“You see, I just love the chocolate they’re covered in!”

 

Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.

 

 

I’m certain there are female hormones in beer. When I drink too much, I talk nonsense and I cannot control my car.

 

Money doesn’t buy you happiness but it can buy you a jet-ski. It is impossible to be sad when you’re riding on the jet-ski.

 

 

Man: Hi, do you want to dance?

Woman: Yeah, sure!

Man: Great, go and dance, I want to talk to your pretty friend!

 

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