99+ Best Jokes Ever Told That Will Make Your Friends Giggle!

     99+ Best Jokes Ever Told That Will Make Your Friends Giggle!

 

How about we give you some seriously funny jokes? We have compiled the best jokes that you can find on the internet! Who wouldn’t love a good joke, right? Everyone loves to have fun and just giggle with the funniest jokes ever! So, grab the popcorn, and get ready for our 100 best jokes ever told!

 

We might not realize it but we can never live without saying some jokes. Jokes are something that we look forward to when things get tough and we need to forget some unbearable feelings. Take a look at our jokes and try to remember some because you’ll never know when you need one!

 

 

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A stick.

 

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back

 

What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

Thunderwear.

 

Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?

Dill with it.

 

Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon?

Because she will “let it go, let it go.”

 

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

 

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

Because she wanted to go to high school.

 

What do you call a dog magician?

A labracadabrador.

 

How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Act like a nut.

 

 

How do you get a squirrel to like you

 

What do you call two birds in love?

Tweethearts

 

How does a scientist freshen her breath?

With experi-mints.

 

How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night.

 

What building in your town has the most stories?

The public library.

 

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm.

 

 

What is a computer’s favorite snack?

Computer chips.

 

What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.

 

What did one volcano say to the other

 

How do we know that the ocean is friendly?

It waves.

 

What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?

Twister.

 

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

 

How do you talk to a giant?

Use big words.

 

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Because he felt crummy.

 

Why was the baby strawberry crying?

Because her mom and dad were in a jam.

 

What did the little corn say to the mama corn?

Where is pop corn?

 

How do you make a lemon drop?

Just let it fall.

 

How do you make a lemon drop

 

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don’t take me for granite.

 

Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.

 

What kind of water can’t freeze?

Hot water.

 

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree.

 

How does a cucumber become a pickle?

It goes through a jarring experience.

 

What did one toilet say to the other?

You look a bit flushed.

 

What do cakes and baseball teams have in common?

They both need a good batter.

 

What do cakes and baseball teams have in common

 

What goes up but never comes down?

Your age.

 

What does every birthday end with?

The letter Y.

 

What animal is always at a baseball game?

A bat.

 

What falls in winter but never gets hurt?

Snow.

 

What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

That hit the spot.

 

Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

 

Why did the kid cross the playground

 

What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

R2 detour.

 

What do you think of that new diner on the moon?

Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.

 

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

 

What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore.

 

What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A rocket chip.

 

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

 

What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield.

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells.

 

What did the left eye say to the right eye

 

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me.

 

Why did the student eat his homework?

Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

 

When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?

Because when you find it, you stop looking.

 

Yo Mama so short she has to hold a sign up that says, “Don’t spit, I can’t swim.”

 

Where would you find an elephant?

The same place you lost her.

 

What time is it when the clock strikes 13?

Time to get a new clock.

 

 

Funny Jokes For Adults

 

 

Up for some more humor? Here are the best jokes in the world for adults and for those who appreciate some dirty jokes. We are telling you that these are bestest jokes ever that you can share with your friends. 

 

Why are men like diapers?

They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.

 

Why are men like diapers

 

What did one butt cheek say to the other?

Together, we can stop this shit.

 

What kind of Bees produce milk?

Boobees

 

What did the penis say to the condom?

Cover me, I’m going in

 

What goes in hard and dry then comes out wet and soft?

Chewing gum

 

What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms?

Melt them into a tire and call it a goodyear.

 

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!

 

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

 

How is a boyfriend/girlfriend like a laxative?

They both irritate the shit out of you.

 

How is a boyfriend/girlfriend like a laxative

 

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

 

What did the penis say to the vagina?

Don’t make me come in there!

 

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.

 

I asked my partner if I was the only one, she’s/he’s been with.

She/he said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights”

 

Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club.

Thank you all for coming.

 

They say make up sex is the best…

Which is lucky, because all my sex is made up

 

Which sexual position produces the ugliest kids?

Ask your mum!

 

Which sexual position produces the ugliest kids

 

Whats 72?

69 with three people watching.

 

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

 

What do tofu and a dildo have in common?

They are both meat substitutes.

 

What comes after 69?

Mouthwash.

 

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

 

How do you make a pool table laugh?

Tickle its balls.

 

What does a perverted frog say?

Rubbit

 

I lost my virginity.

Can I have yours?

 

Do you need a stud in your life?

Cause I got the STD and all I need is U.

 

Do you need a stud in your life

 

Is your name winter?

Because you’ll be coming soon.

 

Let’s play carpenter.

First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.

 

I lost my keys…

Can I check your underwear?

 

Are you an archaeologist?

Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

 

I’m not usually into hunting,

but I’d love to catch you and mount you all over my house.

 

Laugh more: Funny Hunting Jokes

 

I’m no weatherman but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

 

Baby, I last longer than a white crayon.

 

I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

 

Do you work at Build-A-Bear?

Because I’d stuff you.

 

Do you work at Build-A-Bear

 

Do you smoke pot?

Because weed be cute together.

 

Hello, I’m bisexual.

I’d like to BUY you a drink… and then get sexual.

 

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?

I want you inside me!

 

What do you call an expert fisherman?

A Master Baiter

 

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We’re closed.

 

Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.

 

What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad?

Lettuce alone without dressing.

 

What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad

 

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom

 

Is your name Tanya?

Cuz I’m gonna tan ya ass.

 

Are you a termite?

Cause you’re about to have a mouth full of wood.

 

I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.

 

I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.

 

Do you want to come to my time machine?

We stop somewhere between ’68 and ’70

 

Let’s play carpenter.

First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.

 

If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

 

Are you my new boss?

 

Because you just gave me a raise.

 

Thanks for reading!