60 Best Blonde Jokes & Memes [2022 Update]

     60 Best Blonde Jokes & Memes [2022 Update]

Here’s a collection of some of the best blonde jokes and memes that have been circulating around the internet. These trending jokes could be hilarious for you and we highly recommend sharing them with friends, family, and other relatives.

 

A blonde asks “What do the letters “IDK” mean?”
Friend response: “I don’t know.”
The blonde: “oh my god, nobody knows…”

A man hires a blonde contractor to re-paint his porch. He shares that all the brushes and paint are in the garage. The blonde goes to the garage to get all the supplies and start the job. About an hour later, the blonde knocks on the door and shares that she is done painting the porch. “Are you already done? wow, that was fast!” says the man, quite impressed.
The blonde responds “Yes, it’s all done, and there was enough paint for two coats.” The man thanks her profusely. The blonde adds “Oh, and by the way, it’s not a Porsche, it was a Ferrari”.

I went on a date with a blonde woman last night… That was the joke…

A man goes to a food truck and sees the menu:
Cheeseburgers: $8
Fries: $3
Handjobs: $20.
He asks the gorgeous woman working in the truck “are you the one doing the handjobs”. “Yes” responds the blonde very suggestively.
The man responds: “Well, could you please wash your hands? I would like a cheeseburger.”

At the office, a blonde’s computer had technical issues. I wonder why.

A blonde flies from Cleveland to Los Angeles. Even though she only purchased an economy ticket, she decides to sit in an empty business class seat. A flight attendant notices and politely asks her to move back to economy. The blonde responds: “I’m young and attractive, I’m flying to Los Angeles, and I want to be in first class. Sorry but I’m not moving.”…
… The flight attendant talks to the team captain who shares: “I have dated many blondes, and I know exactly what to say”. He peacefully walks up the blonde and asks her to move. The blonde responds the same thing “I’m young and attractive, I’m flying to Los Angeles, and I want to be in first class. Sorry but I’m not moving.” The captain then kindly whispers something to her. The blonde quickly takes her bags and returns to economy.” The flight attendant is so surprised… and asks “what did you tell her???”. The captain responds “It is really very easy. When she said she was flying to Los Angeles, I told her “Absolutely. But you see, first class is NOT going to Los Angeles. Only the economy class is.”

40,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid” event. During the first show, a blonde asks another blonde a math question to show everyone that blondes can do maths: “What’s thirty plus twelve?” The blonde thinks for a minute and timidly responds: “forty?” The entire audience of 40,000 blondes screams “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!” The show organizer hesitantly agrees and asks the blonde another question… but this time really, really easy: “What’s two plus two?”. The blonde thinks again and whispers “Four?”. Suddenly all together the 40,000 blondes in the audience scream again: “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!”

A blonde was desperate for money… You get the picture.

A young girl comes back from her 1st-grade class and proudly shares with her her mother: “Mom, at school, I was the only student who was able to count to 30!” The mother replies: “Well done. That’s because you’re blonde.”
The next day, the girl returns from school and again proudly shares an accomplishment with her mother: “Today, I was the only student who could sing the entire alphabet without a mistake”. The mother responds again “Well done. That’s because you’re blonde.”
The following day, the girl comes back from school and shares “Mom, today after class, we measured our chests and mine was the largest. Is that because I’m blonde?”.
The mother responds: “No sweetie, that’s because you’re 18 years old”.

“Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing out all the ‘W’s.”

“How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
You tell her the joke on Wednesday.”

One day a blonde gets tired of hearing all these jokes making fun of blonde women. She decides to go learn all of the US states’ capitals.
The next day, a man starts telling a blonde joke. She interrupts him proudly, “I am getting a little tired of these blonde jokes. I want you to know that I went home yesterday and in only 1 night did something that you are probably not even able to do. I memorized all of the state capitals.”
The man responds: “Ok, let’s see it. What is the capital of Nevada?”
“N,” answered the blonde.

“Two blondes were driving and one thought her blinker might be broken…
She asked her friend to check. The friend stuck her head out and said, “Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…”

“How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
You give them a shampoo that says “rinse, wash, and repeat.”

A blonde mom and her blonde daughter are in the kitchen cooking together. The daughter asks her mom: “Why do people think that blondes are not very smart?”
Her mom replies, “Let me show you. And she knocks three times on a wooden kitchen cabinet door”.
The blonde daughter, confused, says, “Someone’s at the door!”. The blonde mom laughs and says “See… this is why people think we’re stupid…. Now please keep an eye on the stove for me while I go answer the door.”

“Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. The sign said, “Disneyland Left.”
So they started crying and went home.”

“Why do blondes wear so much hair spray?
So they can catch all the things that go over their head.”

A blind man arrives at a bar and orders a drink. He asks the bartender, “Do you want to hear a good blonde joke?”. The bar becomes a bit silent and a blonde woman leans to the blind man and politely says “Be careful, you should know that the bartender is a blonde, I’m a 6 foot tall blonde, and a few feet away from you is another blonde woman. Now… are you still sure that you want to tell a blonde joke?” The blind man thinks about it and shakes his head “Ok, no. I won’t tell the joke. Not if I’m gonna have to explain it three times.”

“How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in her ears.”

“Did you hear about the blonde who bought an AM radio?
It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.”

“How does a blonde brain cell die?
Alone.”

“How do you keep a blonde at home?
You build a circular driveway.”

“A blonde walks into a hospital and claims that everywhere she touches hurts…
The doctor says, “Ma’am, you have a broken finger.”

A blonde just accepted a new position as a sports teacher in high school.
During practice, she notices a boy at the end of the field… all alone while the other kids are running around having fun kicking a ball.
She feels sad about him and decides to cheer him up:
“How is it going?” she asks
“It’s going ok”, the boy responds a bit surprised.
“Do you want to go and play with the other kids?”, the blonde asks.
“No, I think it’s best if I stay here”, the boy responds.
“and why is that?” asks the blonde.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says:
“Because I’m the Goalkeeper!”

“Why did the blonde think she was a genius after completing her jigsaw puzzle?
The box said “for two to five years” and it only took her one.”

“Three blondes walk into a building…
You’d think at least one of them would’ve seen it.”

“A blonde calls an airline and asks, “How long are your flights from America to the U.K.?”
The woman on the other end of the phone says, “Just a minute…”The blonde says, “Thanks!” and hangs up the phone.”

“How can you make a blonde go to the roof?
Tell her that drinks are on the house.”

“Why couldn’t the blonde write the number 11?
She couldn’t figure out which number came first.”

“What do blondes do when their laptop freezes?
Microwave them.”

“What’s it called when a blonde dyes her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence.”

“What did the blonde say when she saw a box of Cheerios?
“Wow! Doughnut seeds!”

“Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?”
The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”

“Why couldn’t the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?
She couldn’t find the 10 key.”

“What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A golden retriever!”

“Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench…
One blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?” The other blonde says, “Well, you can’t see Florida…”

“Why was the blonde staring at a bottle of orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.”

“Did you hear about the near tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage and eight blondes were stuck on the escalators for more than four hours.”

“Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.”

“Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
You have to hollow out the head.”

“What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head?
A Space Invader.”

“Why do blondes drive BMWs?
Because they can spell it.”

“Why didn’t 19 blondes go into a bar?
The sign said 21+.”

“I asked my blonde friend why she kept empty beer bottles in the refrigerator…
She said, “They’re for my friends who don’t drink.”

“How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.”

“A blonde crashed a helicopter…
When the police officer asked why, she said, “It got chilly in here, so I turned off the fan.”

“What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Spot.”

“Q: Why don’t blondes call 911 when they are in an emergency?
A: Because they can’t find number eleven on their phone.”

“Q: What is something that beer bottles and blondes share?
A: They’re both empty from bottom to top.”

“Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: They are trying to get their ankles warmed up.”

“Q: What is the occupation of a brunette between two blondes?
A: An interpreter.”

“Q: How can you tell that a blonde was trying to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: There are M&M’s all over the floor.”

A blonde ran with the bike because she thought it was going too fast to get on it.

“Q: “Why do blondes like wearing green lipstick?
A: Because they know that the red means “stop”.”

Blonde gets caught speeding. She told the cop didn’t realize what the speedometer meant.

 

Thanks for reading!