40+ Silly Blonde Jokes You Shouldn’t Say Out Loud… Shhh!

    40+ Silly Blonde Jokes You Shouldn’t Say Out Loud… Shhh!

 

Blonde is a very popular hair color, but only less than 2% of the world’s population has naturally blonde hair. 

No matter how they are achieved, blonde hairstyles are always eye-catching whether they’re real or from a bottle.

Having fun with blonde jokes in this blog is sure to bring a big smile to your face! 

 

 

A blonde cannot dial 911, why?

She can’t find the eleven.

 

How come blonde jokes are so short?

So brunettes can remember them.

 

How did the blonde die from drinking milk?

The cow fell on her.

 

Are beer bottles and blondes related in some way?

They’re both empty from bottom to top.

 

What’s the occupation of the brunette between two blondes?

An interpreter.

 

What was the reason for the blonde running in circles in her bedroom?

Because she decided to catch up on her sleep.

 

Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?

She kept throwing out all the ‘W’s.

 

How can you keep a blonde in the shower all day?

You give them a shampoo that says “rinse, wash, and repeat.”

 

Have you heard about the blonde who bought an AM radio?

It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.

 

Why do blondes like lightning so much?

They think someone is taking their picture.

 

And why did the blonde go past the medicine cabinet on tiptoe?

So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills

 

What do you call a blonde who never showers?

A dirty blonde.

 

What prompted the blonde to stare at an orange juice bottle for two hours?

Because it said ‘concentrate’

 

What was it that prompted the blonde to do backstroke?

She had just eaten lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach.

 

Is it possible to drown a blonde?

Remind her that life is inane, repetitive, and intrinsically meaningless.

 

When a blonde throws a grenade at you, what do you do?

Lament the absurdity of a world where science is used for war.

 

How can you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell her on Friday night that God has abandoned us, then let her sleep it off.

 

What’s long and hard for a blonde?

A conversation with a brunette who keeps pronouncing Nietzsche “Knee-chee.”

 

How does one keep a blonde occupied?

Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.

 

When the blonde saw a box of Cheerios, what did she say?

“OMG! Donut seeds!”

 

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?

You’ll find Wite Out all over the screen.

 

What is the reason why the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?

She was desperately trying to make up her mind.

 

Have you heard about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband’s car?

She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe.

 

How would you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

 

What happened to the blonde when she was raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

 

Why can’t you tell knock-knock jokes to blondes?

Because they go answer the door.

 

How could the blonde be disappointed with her trip to England?

She found out Big Ben was a clock.

 

Why was the blonde unable to make Koolaid?

The 8 cups of water didn’t fit into that little packet. 

 

How would you drown a submarine full of blondes?

Knock on the door. 

 

Why does building a blonde snowman take longer than making a regular one?

You have to hollow out the head.

 

In the store, a TV is stolen by a robber.

A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”

 

The blonde ran with the bike because she thought it was going too fast for her.

Blonde: “What does IDK stand for?”

 

Brunette: “I don’t know.”

Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”

 

When the blonde went to buy a pizza, the assistant asked her if she wanted the pizza cut into six pieces or twelve pieces.

“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”

 

One morning, a brunette and a blonde are walking together in a park.

Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird.

 

“Awww, look at the dead birdie,” she says sadly.

The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, “Where? Where?”

 

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead flee to an alley where they hide in potato sacks after robbing a bank. 

The cops first go to the sack with the brunette in it and kick it.

 

The brunette says, “Meow.” 

They go to the sack with the redhead and kick it. She says, “Woof, woof.” 

 

Last, they kick the sack with the blond, and she says, “Po-ta-to.”

Two blondes were sitting on a bench in Oklahoma talking.

 

One blond asks the other, “Which do you think is farther? Florida or the moon?” 

The other blonde turns and says, “Hellooooo, can you see Florida?” 

 

Being blonde is a big commitment.

I’m practically married to my toner. 

 

While driving to Disneyland, two blondes saw a sign that read: Disneyland Left.

So they started crying and headed home. 

 

A blonde and a brunette are in a car when the brunette mentions that Christmas falls on a Friday this year.

The blond says, “I hope it’s not the 13th!”

 

Thanks for reading!