Jokes About Elephants - Funny Ants And Elephants Jokes Ever

Jokes About Elephants

 

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Jokes About Elephants

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Jokes About Elephants One Liners

 

Q:What do you call an elephant that flies?

A: A jumbo jet

 

Q: What goes up slowly and comes down quickly?

A: An elephant in a lift!

 

Q: What's gray and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds?

A: An elephant with hiccups!

 

Q: What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

A: An elephant's shadow!

 

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?

A: Time to fix the fence!

 

Q: What's big, gray and flies straight up?

A: An elecopter!

 

Q: What's gray, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?

A: A get wellephant!

 

Q: What's gray and goes round and round?

A: An elephant in a washing machine!

 

Q: What's gray and highly dangerous?

A: An elephant with a machine gun!

 

Q: What's big and gray and lives in a lake in Scotland?

A: The Loch Ness Elephant!

 

Q: What's big and gray and has 16 wheels?

A: An elephant on roller skates!

 

Q: Why do the elephants have short tails?

A: Because they can't remember long stories!

 

Q: How to you keep an elephant in suspense?

A: I'll tell you tomorrow!

 

Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper?

A: You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant!

 

Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a banana?

A: Have you ever tried to peel an elephant?

 

Q: What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?

A: About 3,000 miles!

 

Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry?

A: A gooseberry is green!

 

Q: What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather?

A: One roars with pain and the other pours with rain!

 

Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a post box?

A: I don't know!

 

Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?

A: Because the chicken was having a day off!

 

Q: What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

A: Lost!

 

Funny Jokes About Elephants One Liners

 

Jokes about elephants one liners

 

 Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of giraffes in the distance?

A: “Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!”

 

Q: What did Jane say when she saw a herd of elephants in the distance?

A: “Look! A herd of grapes in the distance!” [Jane is color blind.]

 

Q: Why are pygmies so short?

A: They listened to Jane, and looked at the plums.

 

Q: How do you get down from an elephant?

A: You don’t! You get down from a goose.

 

Q: How does an elephant get down from a tree?

A: He doesn’t! Even elephants know you get down from a goose!

 

Q: Oh, all right. How do elephants get out of trees?

A: They float down on the leaves between 4pm and 6pm.

 

Q: What do you call an elephant that rides a bus?

A: A passenger.

 

Q: Why don’t African elephants like to play cards?

A: Because of all the cheetahs.

 

Q: What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?

A: About 3,000 miles.

 

Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?

A: So that they don’t sink in the sand.

 

Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?

A: They’re looking for the elephants that forgot to wear their sandals.

 

Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?

A: Nothing: peanuts can’t talk.

 

Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

A: Nothing: it just let out a little whine.

 

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?

A1: She slipped.

A2: She was dead.

 

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?

A: He was glued to the first one.

 

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?

A: He thought it was a game.

 

Q: Why did the fourth elephant fall out of the tree?

A: Because when his mother asked “If all your friends jumped out of a tree, would you?”, he said “Yes!”

 

Q: Why did the tree fall down?

A: It thought it was an elephant.

 

Q: What’s gray on the inside and red and white on the outside?

A: Campbell’s Cream Of Elephant Soup.

 

Q: Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?

A: So he wouldn’t fall into the hot chocolate.

 

Funny Jokes About Elephants And Ants

 

Funny Jokes About Elephants

 

Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a VW bug? 

A: None, the elephants are in there!

 

Q: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle? 

A: Optimistic!

 

Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into the city? 

A: Free Parking.

 

Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into work? 

A: Sole use of the elevator.

 

Q: What do you do with an elephant with three balls? 

A: Walk him and pitch to the girrafe!

 

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub? 

A: It's bike is outside.

 

Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub? 

A: There is a dent in the cross-bar.

 

Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub? 

A: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.

 

Q. Why do elephants wear tiny green hats? A. To sneak across a pool table without being seen.

 

Q: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb? 

A: Don't be stupid, elephants can't change light bulbs.

 

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale? 

A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

 

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? 

A: Bloody great holes all over Australia.

 

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? 

A: Elephino.

 

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed? 

A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.

 

Q: Why do elephants wear sandals? 

A: So that they don't sink in the sand.

 

Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground? 

A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.

 

Q: How do you get 1,000 elephants into a shopping cart at Safeway. 

A: To get the answer, you'd better get the 'S' out of Safe and the 'F' out of the way.

 

Q. What is the difference between an elephant and a blueberries?

A. They're both blue, except for the elephant.

 

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill? 

A: "Look, there's 1,000 elephants coming over the hill."

 

Q: What did Jane say? 

A: Here come the blueberries. (Jane was color blind)

 

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants with sunglasses on, coming over the hill? 

A: Nothing, he didn't recognize them.

 

Q: How do you make a dead elephant float? 

A: Well, you take 10 dead elephants, 10 tons of chocolate ice-cream, 5 tons tons of bananas,.....

 

Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree? 

A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.

 

Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years? 

A: Parachute him from an airplane.

 

Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon? 

A: That's when the elephants are skydiving.

 

Q: Why are pygmies so short? 

A: They climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon.

 

Q: Why do ducks have flat feet? 

A: From stamp out forest fires.

 

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet? 

A: From stamp out flaming ducks.

 

Q: Why are elephants feet shaped that way? 

A: To fit on lily pads.

 

Q: Why isn't it safe to go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon? 

A: That's when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.

 

Q: Whay are frogs so short? 

A: They go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon.

 

Q: Why shouldn't you go into the woods at 5 o'clock? 

A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.

 

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