251 Jokes for Kids That are Hilarious

   251 Jokes for Kids That are Hilarious

 

Looking for the best jokes for kids? We are sharing 250+ of the best jokes that are clean and family-friendly! No more cringing during the punch line with these jokes! Best of all you can grab our free printable jokes cards for even more laughs!

 

 

The Best Jokes For Kids

 

Q: How do all the oceans say hello to each other?

A: They wave!

 

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?

A: I’ll meet you at the corner!

 

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A: A gummy bear!

 

Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

A: Nacho cheese!

 

Q: Where do cows go for entertainment?

A: To the moo-vies!

 

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?

A: Ground beef!

 

Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?

A: Lean meat!

 

Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A: A pork chop!

 

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?

A: Because you can see right through them!

 

Q: What animal needs to wear a wig?

A: A bald eagle!

 

Q: What do you call a fly without wings?

A: A walk!

 

Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?

A: Because they use honeycombs!

 

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A: An investigator!

 

Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

A: Because she will let it go!

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

A: Frostbite!

 

Q: What has four wheels and flies?

A: A garbage truck!

 

Q: Why did the man run around his bed?

A: Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

 

Q: Why did the math book look so sad?

A: Because it had so many problems!

 

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

A: Of course!  The Empire State Building can’t jump!

 

Q: If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring?

A: Pilgrims!

 

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?

A: A bulldozer!

 

Q: What did the zero say to the eight?

A: Nice belt!

 

Q: Why do sharks swim in saltwater?

A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

 

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?

A: Right where you left him!

 

Q: Where do fish keep their money?

A: In the river bank!

 

Q: Why did the gum cross the road?

A: It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!

 

Q: What is brown and sticky?

A: A stick!

 

Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: It was framed!

 

Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

A: Your head hits the ceiling!

 

Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled?

A: Because they take too long to iron!

 

Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?

A: Take away her credit card!

 

Q: Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?

A: So he could hide in the crayon box!

 

Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

A: By the footprints in the butter!

 

Q: What is the difference between elephants and grapes?

A: Grapes are purple.

 

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?

A: “Here come the elephants!”

 

Q: What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming?

A: “Here come the grapes!” (She was colorblind.)

 

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

A: To get to the other slide!

 

Q: What can you catch but not throw?

A: A cold!

 

Q: What has hands but can’t clap?

A: A clock!

 

Q: What do you call a dog that can tell time?

A: A watch dog!

 

Q: What did one hat say to the other?

A: Stay here, I’m going on ahead. (going on a head)

 

Q: What side of a turkey has the most feathers?

A: The outside!

 

Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?

A: The snow!

 

Q: Why did the teacher put on sunglasses?

A: Because her students were so bright! 

 

Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?

A: Shocked!

 

Q: Why do strings never win a race?

A: Because they always tie!

 

Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

A: Sneakers!

 

Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?

A: A power plant!

 

Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir?

A: Because she was a little horse!

 

Q: Why did the cookie go to the nurse?

A: Because he felt crummy!

 

Q: What kind of room doesn’t have doors?

A: A mushroom!

 

Q: What did one plate say to the other?

A: Dinner is on me!

 

Q: How do you make a lemon drop?

A: Just let go of it! 

 

Q: Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?

A: Because he wanted to see time fly!

 

Q: What does an evil hen lay?

A: Deviled eggs!

 

Q: Which hand is better to write with?

A: Neither. It’s better to write with a pencil!

 

Q: What did the traffic light say to the truck?

A: Don’t look! I’m changing!

 

Q: What is the witch’s favorite school subject?

A: Spelling!

 

Q: What did the frog order for lunch?

A: A burger and a diet croak!

 

Q: Why did the teddy bear not want any dessert?

A: Because she was stuffed!

 

Q: What do you call a fly without wings?

A: A walk.

 

Q: Why should you never trust a pig with a secret?

A: Because it’s bound to squeal.

 

Q: What do cows order from?

A: Cattle-logs!

 

Q: What’s the difference between broccoli and boogers?

A: Kids don’t eat broccoli!

 

Q: What kind of haircuts do bees get?

A: Buzzzzcuts!

 

Q: How can you tell if someone is a good farmer?

A: He is outstanding in his field! 

 

Q: What do you call a man with a shovel?

A: Doug.

 

Q: How do mountains stay warm in winter?

A: Snowcaps

 

Q: Why can’t a person’s nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot!

 

Q: What has a ton of ears but can’t hear a thing?

A: A corn field.

 

Q: What do you call the horse that lives next door?

A: Your neighbor!

 

Q: Why did the man put sugar on his pillow?

A: He wanted to have sweet dreams!

 

Q: Why did the computer sneeze?

A: Because it had a virus!

 

Q: What do you call two banana peels?

A: A pair of slippers!

 

Q: What do you call a cow who gets her way all the time?

A: Spoiled milk!

 

Q: How does a scientist freshen her breath?

A: With experi-mints!

 

Q: What is a computer programmer’s favorite snack?

A: Computer chips!

 

Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?

A: Because they don’t know the words!

 

Q: What do you call a mad elephant?

A: An earthquake!

 

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?

A: Because it’s too far to walk!

 

Q: What do you get on every birthday?

A: A year older!

 

Q: Why should you not talk to circles?

A: Because there is no point!

 

Q: Why is it dangerous to play cards in the jungle?

A: Because there are so many CHEETAHS! (cheaters)

 

Q: How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?

A: With a pumpkin patch!

 

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

A: Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

 

Q: How many apples grow on a tree?

A: All of them!

 

Q: What’s gray and goes round and round?

A: An elephant in a washing machine!

 

Q: Why can’t an egg tell a joke?

A: It will crack up!

 

Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

A: In case he got a hole in one!

 

Q: What do fish play on the piano?

A: Scales!

 

Q: Where do hamburgers go dancing?

A: A meat ball!

jokes for kids question: 

 

Q: Where do hamburgers go dancing? 

A: A meat ball! on a purple background

 

Q: How do billboards talk?

A: Sign language!

 

Q: What do snakes like to study in school?

A: Hissss-tory!

 

Q: What kind of music do balloons hate?

A: Pop music.

 

Q: What do you call a sad strawberry?

A: A blueberry!

 

Q: What do you call a cow that can’t moo?

A: A milk dud.

 

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A: A stick

 

Q: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

A: Thunderwear.

 

Q: Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?

A: Dill with it.

 

Q: What time is it when the clock strikes 13?

A: Time to get a new clock.

 

Q: How does a cucumber become a pickle?

A: It goes through a jarring experience.

jokes for kids question

 

Q: How does a cucumber become a pickle? 

A: It goes through a jarring experience on a purple background

 

Q: What did one toilet say to the other?

A: You look a bit flushed.

 

Q: What do you think of that new diner on the moon?

A: Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.

 

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A: Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

 

Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A: A tuba toothpaste.

 

Q:  Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

A: Because she wanted to go to high school.

 

Q: What do you call a dog magician?

A: A labracadabrador.

 

Q: Where would you find an elephant?

A: The same place you lost her.

 

Q:  How do you get a squirrel to like you?

A: Act like a nut.

 

Q: What do you call two birds in love?

A: Tweethearts

 

Q: How are false teeth like stars?

A: They come out at night.

 

Q: How are false teeth like stars? 

A: They come out at night on a blue background

 

Q: What building in your town has the most stories?

A: The public library.

 

Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A: Finding half a worm.

 

Q: What did one volcano say to the other?

A: I lava you.

 

Q: How do we know that the ocean is friendly?

A: It waves.

 

Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?

A: Twister.

 

Q: How does the moon cut his hair?

A: Eclipse it.

 

Q: How do you talk to a giant?

A: Use big words.

 

Q: What animal is always at a baseball game?

A: A bat

 

Q: What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

A: That hit the spot.

 

Q: Why did the kid cross the playground?

A: To get to the other slide.

 

Q: What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

A: R2 detour.

 

Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

A: Because he felt crummy.

 

Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?

A: Because her mom and dad were in a jam.

 

 

Q: What did the little corn say to the mama corn?

A: Where is pop corn?

 

Q: How do you make a lemon drop?

A: Just let it fall.

 

Q: What did the limestone say to the geologist?

A: Don’t take me for granite.

 

Q: Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

A: Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.

 

Q: What kind of water can’t freeze?

A:Hot water

 

Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A: A palm tree.

 

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A: A dino-snore

 

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? 

A: A dino-snore on a pink background

 

Q: What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A: A rocket chip.

 

Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?

A: Between us, something smells.

 

Q: Why did the student eat his homework?

A: Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

 

Q: When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?

A: Because when you find it, you stop looking.

 

Q: What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A: A coconut on vacation.

 

Q: What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday?

A: Happy Birthday.

 

Q: What’s the one thing will you get every year on your birthday, guaranteed?

A: A year older.

 

Q: Why do candles always go on the top of cakes?

A: Because it’s hard to light them from the bottom.

 

Q: What do cakes and baseball teams have in common?

A: They both need a good batter.

 

Q: What goes up but never comes down?

A: Your age

 

Q: What goes up but never comes down? 

A: Your age on a purple background

 

Q: What does every birthday end with?

A: The letter Y.

 

Q: What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?

A: It’s roar birthday.

 

Q: Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer?

A: She wanted to ice it.

 

Q: Does a green candle burn longer than a pink one?

A: No, they both burn shorter.

 

Q: Why did the little girl hit her birthday cake with a hammer?

A: It was a pound cake.

 

Q: Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?

A: Because it had more cents.

 

Q: Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated?

A: Because it’s never right.

 

Q: Why is six afraid of seven?

A: Because seven eight nine.

 

Q: Why was the equal sign so humble?

A: Because he wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.

 

Q: What do you call guys who love math?

A: Algebros.

 

Q: What do you call guys who love math? 

A: Algebros on a purple background

 

Q: How do you stay warm in any room?

A: Go to the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.

 

Q: Why was the fraction nervous about marrying the decimal?

A: Because he would have to convert.

 

Q: Are monsters good at math?

A: Not unless you count Dracula.

 

Q: Why was the math book sad?

A: Because it had too many problems.

 

Q: Why does nobody talk to circles?

A: Because there’s no point.

 

Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?

A: She was a little horse.

 

Q: What was the first animal in space?

A: The cow that jumped over the moon.

 

Q: Why don’t elephants chew gum?

A: They do, just not in public.

 

Q: What did the banana say to the dog?

A: Bananas can’t talk.

 

Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?

A: With ten-tickles.

 

Q: How do you make an octopus laugh? 

A: With ten-tickles on a blue background

 

Q: How do you fit more pigs on a farm?

A: Build a sty-scraper.

 

Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?

A: An udder failure.

 

Q: What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?

A: A milk dud.

 

Q: Why do fish live in salt water?

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze.

 

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?

A: Spoiled milk.

 

Q: Where do polar bears vote?

A: The North Poll

 

Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

A: Ouch!

 

Q: Why did the snake cross the road?

A: To get to the other ssside.

 

Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?

A: Nothing, it just waved.

 

Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?

A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

 

Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? 

A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later on a peach background

 

Q: What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?

A: He got marooned.

 

Q: How did the pirate get his flag so cheaply?

A: He bought it on sail.

 

Q: What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?

A: 8 pirates

 

Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A: About a buck an ear.

 

Q: What is a cat’s favorite color?

A: Purrr-ple.

 

Q: What song does a cat like best?

A: Three Blind Mice.

 

Q: Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?

A: To the mew-seum.

 

Q: What kind of kitten works for the Red Cross?

A: A first-aid kit.

 

Q: Why are cats good at video games?

A: Because they have nine lives.

 

Q: What did the cat say when he fell off the table?

A: “Me-ow.”

 

Q: What did the cat say when he fell off the table? 

A: “Me-ow.” on a pink background

 

Q: What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?

A: One is a cat copy; the other is a copy cat.

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a ball and a cat?

A: A fur ball.

 

Q: What’s a cat’s favorite magazine?

A: A cat-alogue.

 

Q: What cat likes living in water?

A: An octo-puss.

 

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?

A: His heart wasn’t in it.

 

Q: How does a vampire start a letter?

A: Tomb it may concern…

 

Q: What is a monster’s favorite dessert?

A: I scream.

 

Q: What monster plays tricks on Halloween?

A: Prank-enstein.

 

Q: What kind of music do mummies love?

A: Wrap music.

 

Q: What fruit do scarecrows love the most?

A: Straw-berries.

 

Q: What does a witch use to do her hair?

A: Scarespray.

 

Q: What room does a ghost not need?

A: A living room

 

Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A: A blood hound.

 

Q: What is a ghost’s nose full of?

A: Boo-gers.

 

Q: Are black cats bad luck?Are black cats bad luck?

A: Sure, if you’re a mouse.

 

Q: What do you call two witches living together?

A: Broommates.

 

Q: Why did the zombie skip school?

A: He was feeling rotten.

 

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?

A: A blood orange.

 

Q: What instrument does a skeleton play?

A: The trom-bone.

 

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

A: Day-scare centers.

 

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day? 

A: Day-scare centers on a purple background

 

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

A: Because he had no body to go with.

 

Q: What candy do you eat on the playground?

A: Recess pieces.

 

Q: How do ghosts wash their hair?

A: With sham-boo.

 

Q: What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?

A: Spelling.

 

Q: What’s big, scary and has three wheels?

A: A monster on a tricycle.

 

Q: Why don’t vampires have more friends?

A: Because they are a pain in the neck.

 

Q: What position does a ghost play in hockey?

A: Ghoulie

 

Q: What do you give a vampire when he’s sick?

A: Coffin drops.

 

Q: What kinds of pants do ghosts wear?

A: Boo-jeans.

 

Q: Who isn’t hungry at Thanksgiving?

A: The turkey—he’s already stuffed.

 

Q: Who isn’t hungry at Thanksgiving? 

A: The turkey—he’s already stuffed on a blue background

 

Q: Can a turkey jump higher than Mount Everest?

A: Yes, because a building can’t jump at all.

 

Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

A: The outside.

 

Q: What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?

A: The letter g.

 

Q: What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

A: The tur-key.

 

Q: Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?

A: In the dictionary.

 

Q: Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?

A: Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.

 

Q: What key won’t open any door?

A: A turkey.

 

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?

A: It was the chicken’s day off.

 

Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

A: It was stuck on the turkey’s foot.

 

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road twice?

A: To show he wasn’t a chicken.

 

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road twice? 

A: To show he wasn’t a chicken on a peach background

 

Q: What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on top of a barn?

A: An eggroll.

 

Q: Why was the turkey the drummer in the band?

A: Because he had drumsticks.

 

Q: What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie?

A: Your teeth.

 

Q: What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?