Jokes About Sleep - Funny Sleep Jokes Quotes And Humor

Jokes About Sleep

 

Let's read Jokes For The Day about Jokes About Sleep, Funny Jokes About Sleep

 

 

Sleep is my drug….my bed is my dealer….and my alarm clock is the police.

funny jokes about sleep and riddles

See more:

* Funny Teacher Jokes Dirty For Adults Short Ever

* Dirty Priest Jokes Short Of All The Time

* Best Funniest Wife Jokes Short For Adult

 

 Joke Funny Quote About Sleep One Line

 

Insomnia: The inability to sleep even when it’s time to get up.

Anonymous

I never drink coffee at lunch, I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

Ronald Reagan

I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.

W.C. Fields

The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.

Wilson Mizner

A married friend of mine does that thing where he never goes to bed angry… because every time he and his wife fight, she makes him sleep on the couch.

Shmuel Breban

When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

Rule of Feline Frustration

I daydreamed that I was falling and, just before I hit the ground, I fell asleep.

Steve Connelly

I make no bones about it; I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night.

Bill Hicks

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.

Leo J. Burke

Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.

Elbert Hubbard

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish… my dreams were broadcast all over the world.

Steven Wright

I haven’t slept for ten days… because that would be too long.

Mitch Hedberg

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

Proverb

Sleep… the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

W.C. Fields

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

Proverb

I was once arrested for walking in someone else’s sleep.

Steven Wright

I’ll never die in my sleep… I don’t sleep that well.

Don Herold

Don't worry, I'm merely catching up with sleep.

Epitaph

Some people talk in their sleep; lecturers talk while other people sleep.

Albert Camus

 

Saying humor and jokes about sleep

 

 

A NIGHT'S SLEEP

 

 On a long walk in the woods, Johhny found himself out late and decided to look for a place to rest the night. He finally found a hut in the middle of the woods and knocked on the door. An old man answered, and he agreed to give Johhny a bed for the night on one condition: the man's teenaged daughter would be in the other bed, and Johnny was not to touch her or disturb her sleep in any way. Johnny agreed, but changed his mind when he saw how beautiful the sleeping girl was and, while she didn't respond to his caresses, she didn't push him away either.

The next morning, Johnny awoke alone, but he figured the girl had gone to do her chores and he eagerly awaited her return. Instead the old man walked in, wiping the tears from his eyes. “What's wrong?” asked Johnny. “Oh, I've just come back from the cemetery -- we had my little girl's funeral this morning. But thank you so much for sitting up with her body last night.”

 

funny humor jokes about sleep

 

Funny Humor Jokes About Sleep

 

If only my body stored sleep reserves like it does fat, I'd be sorted!

A day without coffee is like . . . sleep!

If you want breakfast in bed tomorrow, sleep in the kitchen tonight

I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband

Every morning is a constant  battle between deciding to spend time on my appearance or sleep for just 15 more minuties

 

 See more Funny Sleep Jokes, Sleep Jokes with us :)