Best Lawyer Jokes Ever--Funny Lawyer Jokes Clean One Liner Jokes

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Thuday, 01/09/2016 03:09
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Best Lawyer Jokes Ever

 

Let's read Clean Jokes Of The Day about Best Lawyer Jokes Ever, Best Lawyer Jokes Ever One Liners

 

Best Lawyer Jokes Ever For Adult Of The Day

Best Lawyer Jokes Ever

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Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

 

Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

 

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

A: Not enough sand.

 

Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?

A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!

 

Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?

A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

 

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start!

 

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

A: His lips are moving.

 

Best Lawyer Jokes Ever For You Of The Day

Best Lawyer Jokes Ever

 

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

 

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

A: To practice.

 

Q: What's the difference between lawyers and buzzards?

A: Lawyers have removable wing tips.

 

Q: What's the definition of a lawyer?

A: A mouth with a life support system.

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?

A: No changes occur.

 

Q: What's the difference between God and an attorney?

A: God doesn't think he's an attorney.

 

Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?

A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers

 

Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?

A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.

 

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: When they land, they prevent anything from functioning for the next hundred years.

 

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.

 

Best Lawyer Jokes Ever For You Of All The Time

Best Lawyer Jokes Ever One Liners

 

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

A: One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other is a fish.

 

Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

A. You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

 

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

 

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.

 

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: Once launched, they can't be recalled.

 

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?

A: Just two, all the rest are true.

 

Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?

A: Never enough.

 

Q: Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?

A: You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours. 

 

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