15 Funny One - Liners Guaranteed To Make You Smile

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Monday, 14/09/2020 03:09

Here is another batch of funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile.


Once again I’ve been searching to find the best smiles I can find just to brighten your day dear reader. I’ve done the hard work, so you don’t have to.


So sit back, relax and enjoy them all. I hope you enjoy these funny one-liners just as much as I did.


And don’t forget your friends.


If you enjoyed these smiles then your friends probably will too.


So please share this post with your friends on social media. You’ll be a hero or heroine and everyone will appreciate your thoughtfulness for sharing.


You can’t lose, so please share them now but not before you’ve enjoyed today’s smiles.


Funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile:

1. Never tell your secrets in a cornfield. There are too many ears.


2. Never give up on your dreams. Stay in bed and sleep on.


3. I used to work as an origami teacher but I hated it. There was too much paperwork.


4. They’ve just opened a new restaurant Downtown. It’s called Karma and they don’t have a menu. You just get what you deserve.


5. Our local farmer has started feeding his cows with birdseed. That would explain why the milk is going cheep.


6. There’s a store on Main Street where you can get dead batteries free of charge.


7. Why is everything delivered by ship called a cargo and yet if it’s delivered by a van it’s called a shipment?


8. Change your password to incorrect and then if you can’t quite remember it, your computer will say your password is incorrect.


9. My sister bet me a $1,000,000 that I couldn’t make a car using spaghetti. Her face was a picture when I drove pasta.


10. A man delivers a load of bubble wrap. “Where do you want this he asks?” “Oh, just pop it in the corner” was the reply.


11. A police recruit was asked during his exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He answered “Call for backup.”


12. I was amused to read the epitaph on the late dentist’s gravestone. It read “He’s now filling his last cavity.”


13. Why do bees hum? Because they can never remember the words.


14. Why are ghosts always bad liars? Because you can see right through them.


15.What would you call someone with just a nose and no body? Nobody knows.

Big Bill Rizer


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