Exam and test jokes and humor

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Wednesday, 18/10/2017 03:10

Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper.

Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either !


Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you ?

Pupil: How did you know ?

Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!


Great news; teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.

So what's so great about that ?

It's snowing outside !


What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher ?

Lots of blood tests !


What kinds of tests do they give witches ?

Hex-aminations and Spelling tests!


Father: What did the teacher think of your idea?

Son: She took it like a lamb.

Father: Really ? What did she say?

Son: Baa!


Father: How were the exam questions ?

Son: Easy.

Father: Then why look so unhappy ?

Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, but the answers did !


Father: How did your exams go ?

Son: I got nearly 100 in every subject.

Father: What do you mean, nearly 100 ?

Son: I was just a digit out; I averaged 10!


Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test

Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you !


Father: Why did you get such a low score in that test ?

Son: Absence.

Father: You were absent on the day of the test ?

Son: No, but the boy who sits next to me was !


Roses are red,Violets are blue, 

I copied your exam paper, And I failed too.


EXAMINER: Never mind what the date is, get on with the exam.

PUPIL: But, sir, I want to get something right.


TEACHER: Why do you always fail your exams?

PUPIL: Because I always get the wrong exam paper.


EXAM QUESTION: Where are the Andes?

PUPIL'S ANSWER: On the end of my armies.


EXAMINER: I told you not to look in your bag. You could have the answers.

PUPIL: I'm not, sir. I'm looking in Jim's bag. He's got the answers.


FATHER: How did you get on with your maths test today?

SON: I only got one sum wrong.

FATHER: Well done. How many sums were there?

SON: Twelve.

FATHER: So you got eleven right?

SON: No, they were the ones I couldn't do.


EXAM QUESTION: Where is Felixstowe?

PUPIL'S ANSWER: On the end of Felix's foot.


EXAM QUESTION: In Great Britain, where are kings and queens usually crowned?

PUPIL'S ANSWER: On the head.


EXAM QUESTION: What did James I do on coming to the throne? 

PUPIL'S ANSWER: He sat on it.


EXAM QUESTION: What are the chief minerals to be found in Cornwall?

PUPIL'S ANSWER: Coca Cola and orangeade.


FATHER: How did your exams go?

SON: Great, Dad. I nearly got ten in every subject. 

FATHER: What do you mean nearly ten? 

SON: Well, I got the nought.


Fred was saying his prayers. God bless my mum and dad and please make Montreal the capital of Canada.

Why did you say that, Fred? asked his mother.

Because that's what I wrote in my exam, explained Fred.


DAD: Well, Son, did you pass your exams?

SON: No, Dad, but I did come top of those that failed.


EXAM QUESTION: Why was the period between 500 AD and 900 AD known as the Dark Ages?

PUPIL'S ANSWER: Because those were the days of the knights.


After an exam the teacher said to a boy, Why have you written by some of your questions, "See Simon Taylor's paper?"

The boy replied, Well, sir, you said we weren't to copy each other's work.


EXAM QUESTION: What was the Romans' greatest feat?

PUPIL'S ANSWER: Learning Latin.


EXAMINER: You will be allowed half an hour for each question.

PUPIL: How long can we have for the answer, sir?


MOTHER: Your history exam marks aren't very good.

SON: It isn't my fault. My teacher keeps asking me questions about things that happened before I was born.


FATHER: Well, Son, did you get a good place in the exams?

SON: Yes, Dad, right by the radiator!


FATHER: Why are your exam marks so low?

SON: Because I sit at the desk at the back, Dad.

FATHER: What difference does that make?

SON: Well, there are so many of us in the class that when it's my turn for marks there aren't any left.

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