• 20 Funny Shopping Quotes that are Oh-So-True - Funny Jokes

20 Funny Shopping Quotes that are Oh-So-True - Funny Jokes

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Monday, 20/11/2017 04:11

Funny shopping quotes to help you survive the insanity that is the holiday season.


1. “I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.” -Tammy Faye Bakker


2. “Shopping is better than sex. If you’re not satisfied after shopping you can make an exchange for something you really like.” -Adrienne Gusoff


3. “Wal-mart… do they like, make walls there?” -Paris Hilton


4. “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” -Will Smith


5. “We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” -Henry Youngman


6. “The quickest way to get to know a woman is to go shopping with her.” -Marcelene Cox


7. “Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead has never been in a supermarket when the cashier opens another checkout line.” -Ann Landers


8. “A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.” -Franklin P. Jones


9. “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” -Bo Derek


10. “The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.” -Erma Bombeck


11. “I haven’t reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.” -Ilie Nastase


12. “The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn’t even know they carried.” -Mignon McLaughlin


13. “The other line moves faster.” -Etorre


14. “Buying something on sale is a special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it’s worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?” -Rita Rudner

15. “When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.” -Elayne Boosler

16. “If men liked shopping, they’d call it research.” -Cynthia Nelms


17. “Is there more to life than shopping?” -Amanda Ford


18. “I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.” -Rita Rudner


19. “I bet deep down you still wish your mom would take you clothes shopping every August for the new school year.” -Bridget Willard


20. “I like my money right where I can see it: Hanging in my closet.” -Carrie Bradshaw

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