45+ Latest blonde jokes in 2022

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Friday, 11/02/2022 09:02

  45+ Latest blonde jokes in 2022

 

 

Being blonde and especially a blonde woman is not easy. Even though you enjoy wearing that pale yellow or golden hair and impressing people, today's society sometimes makes being blonde a bit difficult. Why so? Because there are tons of clichés out there about blonde people doing stupid things and thinking stupid. And we agree, that's annoying.

 

But it's still worth hearing funny jokes about blondes! The reason is that we will not offend anyone. All we try is to present some blonde jokes to make you smile. You might even use these jokes to defend yourself while someone tries to tease you and prove you wrong.

 

No, blondes are not empty-headed people who have simple minds. But since the rivalry between blondes and brunettes isn't going to stop, we're going to deliver some of the best blonde jokes that will make everyone laugh, even blondes themselves! So if you have blonde friends who have a great sense of humor, feel free to use these jokes politely. Or if you're blonde yourself and want to show others that you can joke about yourself! Anyway, let's take a look at 40+ funny blonde jokes. We wish you a lot of fun!

 

Top 46 Blonde Jokes

Q: Why don’t blondes call 911 in an emergency?

ONE: Because they can’t find the number eleven on their phone.

 

Q: What do beer bottles and blondes have in common?

ONE: They are both empty from bottom to top.

 

Q: Why do blondes wear panties?

ONE: They are trying to warm up their ankles.

 

Q: What job does a brunette have between two blondes?

ONE: An interpreter.

 

Q: How do you know if a blonde tried to bake chocolate chip cookies?

ONE: There are M&Ms everywhere.

 

A blonde ran her bike because she thought it was too fast to get on.

 

Q: Why was a blonde walking in circles in her bedroom?

ONE: Because she decided to catch up on her sleep.

 

Q: What is the common phrase blondes say to their partners after sex?

ONE: “I’ll be home in 30 minutes”.

 

Q: “Why do blondes like to wear green lipstick?

ONE: Because they know that the red means “stop”.

 

The conversation between two blondes:

Bl. 1: Can I tell you a secret? Bees scare me.

Bl. 2: Don’t worry, not just Bs, but the whole alphabet scares me!

 

A blonde says to the other:

“What do you think, isn’t it about time I told my parents I’m adopted?”

 

Q: You know what a blonde girl said when she realized she was pregnant?

ONE: “I wonder if it’s mine”.

 

Q: What can you do to confuse a blonde?

ONE: Nothing at all. Blonde people are born that way.

 

Q: What makes blondes smile when lightning strikes?

ONE: They think someone is taking a picture of them.

 

A blonde finally completed the puzzle in 6 months and was thrilled to read it was designed for 2-4 years.

 

Q: Do you know why blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink?

ONE: This is because the sink is used to wash the vegetables.

 

Q: Why do blondes never have headaches?

ONE: Simple answer – no brain, no pain.

 

Q: What do you call a blond woman with two brain cells?

ONE: A pregnant woman. This is the only possible opportunity for blondes to have two brain cells.

 

Q: And what do you call a blond woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

ONE: A widow.

 

Q: Why do blond people tiptoe when passing the medicine chest?

ONE: You don’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.

 

A blonde to a bartender:

Blonde: A glass of the biggest less, please.

Bartender: A glass of what? Is it the name of the foreign beer?

Blond: I don’t know, my doctor advised me to drink less.

 

The conversation between two blondes:

Bl. 1: I heard that Christmas will be on Friday this yea

Bl. 2: Well I hope it’s not Friday the 13th!

 

Q: What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown?

ONE: Artificial intelligence.

 

Q: What is the name of a blonde who has a brain?

ONE: A golden retriever.

 

A blonde girl was caught by a blonde police officer for speeding.

P: Please show me your driver’s license, ma’am.

B: What is a driver’s license?

P: Something with your face on it.

A blond girl shows the police officer her mirror and tells her:

B: Here it is!

P: Wow, I didn’t know you were a cop too.

 

Two blonde women drive to Disneyland. One of them saw the Disneyland Left sign. They stopped going to Disneyland. They just spun the car and drove home.

 

The conversation between two blondes:

Bl. 1: Yesterday I did a pregnancy test. The answer was negative.

Bl. 2: Why negative? Were the questions too difficult?

 

— 28th of 46 blonde jokes

 

Q: Why was the blonde standing in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?

ONE: Because she wanted to find out what she looks like when she sleeps.

 

Q: Why do blondes rarely get sick?

ONE: Because viruses also have their pride.

 

She was so blonde that…

 

She tried to drown a fish.

She sat on the TV to watch a couch.

She placed the bowls of M&Ms in alphabetical order.

She was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

They arranged to meet at the corner of Walk and Don’t Walk.

She studied so hard for a blood test. But she failed.

She took a ruler to bed to find out how long she had slept.

Q: What can I do to keep my blonde friend busy for several hours?

A: Ask them to count the number of steps on an escalator.

 

A blonde and a brunette were having breakfast in a cafe. The blonde’s phone rang a few times. The brunette asked, “Why aren’t you answering the phone?”

The blonde replied: “It’s not mine. I haven’t told anyone I’m here.”

 

I have a blonde friend who takes 2 hours to watch a 60 minute movie.

 

Q: Do you know how to make a blonde’s eyes sparkle?

ONE: You should just shine a flashlight in her ears.

 

People say if you give a blond person a dime for intelligence, you might get the change back.

 

A blonde girl was playing roulette in Las Vegas. She was having a bad day and lost all her money except the last $100.

“What am I supposed to do now?” she cried.

The man sat next to her and asked her:

“Why don’t you play at your age?”

The girl put all her money on 29 and when 36 hit she fainted.

 

A blonde talks to a doctor:

B: I swallowed an ice cube a few days ago.

D: Is that why you came here?

B: Yes, it has not come out yet.

 

A blonde shot an arrow in the air. she missed.

 

Q: Do you know why the blonde refused to take a window seat on the plane?

ONE: Because she just got her hair done.

 

Q: Why did a blonde buy an elephant instead of a new car?

ONE: Because an elephant has a bigger trunk.

 

Thank you for reading. Wishing you all a very happy Friday!

Big Bill Rizer

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