82 Friendly, Wild, and Quiet Animal Jokes For Kids

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Tueday, 08/03/2022 07:03

   82 Friendly, Wild, and Quiet Animal Jokes For Kids

 

 

Children love animals and jokes more than they do most things. From puppies in the park to bunny rabbits that dominate favorite storybooks, many of our first words as children were likely names for furry friends- from a cat at home or giraffe far away!

It is no wonder then why so much laughter can be generated through corny animal-inspired dad joke telling; all you need are some goofy noises (like quacking), puns on their sounds such as “moo” which will lead to clever wordplay involving advanced phrases like “quacksalver”

 

*Zoo Animal Jokes

 

What do you call an alligator with a spyglass?

An investigator.

 

What’s black and white and blue?

A depressed zebra.

 

Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they play in black-and-white.

 

Who stole the soap out of the bathtub?

The robber ducky.

 

Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The Baaaa-hamas.

 

What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?

Fire-quackers!

 

There were 10 cats in a boat, and one jumped out. How many are left?

None, because they were copycats.

 

What did the buffalo say to his son when he went away on a trip?

Bison!

 

What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

Ouch.

 

Why did the snake cross the road?

To get to the other ssssssside!

 

How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?

Pleased to eat you.

 

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. Buildings can’t jump.

 

What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?

It gets toad.

 

How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away their credit cards.

 

Why did the elephant stay in the airport?

They were waiting for their trunk.

 

What has fangs and webbed feet?

Count Duckula.

 

What was the goal of the detective duck?

To quack the case, of course.

 

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

 

What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?

A pie-thon!

 

What did the judge say when the skunk came into his courtroom?

“Odor in the court!”

 

*Pet Animal Jokes

 

What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?

“Should we walk home or take a dog?”

 

Why are dogs like phones?

Because they have collar IDs.

 

What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backward?

A receding hare line

 

What is a bunny’s motto?

Don’t be mad, be hoppy!

 

Why don’t dogs make good dancers?

Because they have two left feet.

 

What kind of jungle cat is no fun to play games with?

A cheetah.

 

What do you call a rabbit who is angry over gettting burnt?

A hot cross bunny

 

Why are cats so good at video games?

Because they have nine lives.

 

Where do rabbits go after their wedding?

On their bunny-moon!

 

Why are rabbits so lucky?

They have four rabbit’s feet?

 

How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?

Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!

 

What happens when it rains cats and dogs?

I don’t know, but you can step in a poodle.

 

What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?

Chocolate mouse.

 

What do you call a cat wearing shoes?

Puss in boots.

 

What do you get if you cross a rabbit with an insect?

Bugs bunny

 

What dog keeps the best time?

A watchdog.

 

Bob lost his dog today, so he put an ad in the paper.

Then his wife said, “What good would that do? Our dog can’t read.”

 

Why can’t a leopard hide?

Because he’s always spotted.

 

How can you tell which rabbits are getting old?

Look for the grey hares

 

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

“Ruff!”

 

Why do cats always get their way?

They make a purr-suasive case.

 

What do you call a cat that’s in trouble with the police?

A purr-petrator.

 

What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style?

Hip-Hop!

 

What kind of sports cars do cats drive?

Fur-arris.

 

Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?

He was trying to make both ends meet.

 

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on it.

 

What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth!

 

How do you say bye-bye to a curly-haired dog?

Poodle-oo.

 

How do rabbits travel?

By hareplane.

 

 

*Farm Animal Jokes

 

 

What did Mama cow say to baby cow?

“It’s pasture bedtime.”

 

What does the horse say when the bartender greets him by saying “hey”?

“You read my mind!”

 

What day do chickens fear the most?

Fry-days.

 

What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?

A milk dud.

 

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

 

What do you call a cow that just had a baby?

Decalfinated.

 

What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A neigh-bor.

 

What do you call a sleeping cow?

A bull-dozer.

 

Why was the cow afraid?

He was a cow-herd.

 

What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class?

“Why the long face?”

 

What goes “ooo ooo oo”?

A cow with no lips.

 

What did the duck say when buying lipstick?

“Put it on my bill.”

 

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a cow?

A roost beef.

 

What do you call a cow spying on another cow?

A steak out.

 

What did the horse say when it fell?

“I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

 

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

 

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

 

How do horses stay in such great shape?

They keep a stable diet.

 

Where do milkshakes come from?

Nervous cows.

 

What kind of computers do horses use?

Macintosh.

 

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?

An eggroll!

 

A pony went to see the doctor because it couldn’t speak.

“I know what’s wrong,” said the doctor. “You’re a little horse.”

 

Why do cows like being told jokes?

Because they like being a-moosed!

 

*Sea Animal Jokes

 

What fish only swims at night?

A starfish!

 

Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in schools.

 

Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?

He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.

 

OK, that’s enough fish puns.

It’s time to scale back.

 

What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crook-o-dile.

 

Why do fish live in saltwater?

Because pepper makes them sneeze.

 

Where do fish sleep?

On a water bed.

 

What does a fish do in a crisis?

Sea-kelp.

 

What do fish do at football games?

They wave.

 

Why did the fish blush?

It saw the ocean’s bottom.

 

Thanks for reading! I wish you a happy new week!

Big Bill Rizer

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