The best dad jokes (Creative and Eye-Rolling Puns)

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Tueday, 21/09/2021 11:09

   The best dad jokes(Creative and Eye-Rolling Puns)

 

 

So if you’re looking or longing to hear dad jokes, we have compiled a great list of corny dad jokes that you should hear. Or maybe share it with your friends and feel how it is for dads to tell jokes.

 

 

We have divided each Dad Joke into several categories. Check them all out below.

 

Question and Answer Dad Jokes

Here are some of our best collection of question and answer dad jokes to make you laugh!

 

Question: Did you hear the rumor about butter?

 

Answer: Well, I’m not going to spread it

 

Question: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

 

Answer: It was two tired.

 

Question: Dad, can you put my shoes on?

 

Answer: No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

 

Question: Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

 

Answer: Because then it would be a foot.

 

Question: What time did the man go to the dentist?

 

Answer: Tooth hurt-y.

 

Question: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

 

Answer: Ten tickles.

 

 

Question: Why did the math book look so sad?

 

Answer: Because of all of its problems!

 

Question: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

 

Answer: Nacho cheese.

 

Question: Why do melons have weddings?

 

Answer: Because they cantaloupe!

 

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh, ten tickles

 

Question: What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

 

Answer: Attire!

 

Question: How many apples grow on a tree?

 

Answer: All of them!

 

Question: Why did the old man fall in the well?

 

Answer: Because he couldn’t see that well!

 

Laugh more: 30 Best Dad Puns ever

 

Question: Want to hear a joke about construction?

 

Answer: I’m still working on it!

 

Question: I’m starting a new dating service in Prague

 

Answer: It’s called Czech-Mate.

 

Question: Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

 

Answer: Because she was stuffed.

 

Question: What did the left eye say to the right eye?

 

Answer: Between us, something smells!

 

Question: What did one plate say to the other plate?

 

Answer: Dinner is on me!

 

Question: How does a vampire start a letter?

 

Answer: Tomb it may concern…

 

Question: What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

 

Answer: A dino-snore!

 

Question: What did the limestone say to the geologist?

 

Answer: Don’t take me for granite!

 

Why was the baby strawberry crying, because her parents were in a jam

 

 

Question: What kind of tree fits in your hand?

 

Answer: A palm tree!

 

Question: Why was 6 afraid of 7?

 

Answer: Because 7, 8, 9.

 

Laugh more: Best hilarious math jokes

 

Question: Why was the baby strawberry crying?

 

Answer: Because her parents were in a jam.

 

Question: How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

 

Answer: She starts coffin.

 

Question: What did the banana say to the dog?

 

Answer: Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.

 

Question: My doctor told me I was going deaf.

 

Answer: The news was hard for me to hear.

 

Question: Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?

 

Answer: Because she will let it go.

 

Question: What did the nose say to the finger?

 

 

Answer: Quit picking on me!

 

Best Dad Jokes from Instagram

 

 

Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest.

 

For I have synonymed.

 

Milk is good.

 

But it could be butter.

 

I told my carpenter not to carpet my steps. He gave me a blank stair.

 

My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating?”

 

So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off her parent’s house.

 

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

 

He just needed a little space.

 

Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist.

 

While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

 

The Opportunist.

 

Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.

 

Apparently he’s been using-performance enhancing rugs.

 

99.9% of people are dumb.

 

Fortunately, I belong to 1% of smart people.

 

To the guy who stole my antidepressants.

 

I hope you are happy.

 

I just saw my wife trip over and drop a basket of clothes she just ironed.

 

I watched it all unfold.

 

I’m done being a people pleaser.

 

If everyone’s ok with that.

 

My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

 

Me: Can we change the subject?

 

My wife: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

 

I spent all day crushing Coke cans yesterday.

 

It was soda depressing.

 

Did you know French Fries weren’t actually made in France?

 

They were made in Greece.

 

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man in a bicycle?

 

Attire.

 

Do you know what Captain Hook’s least favorite App is?

 

Tiktok.

 

Laugh more with these funny pirate jokes for kids.

 

What’s made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

 

A shoe.

 

Someone just called my phone, sneezed, and hung up.

 

I’m sick and tired of these cold calls.

 

I just got a job where they pay you to sleep.

 

It’s my dream job.

 

I actually had to break up with my old video console, it’s now my ex box.

 

Nothing personal just time for a Switch.

 

What did the bacon say to the tomato?

 

Lettuce get together.

 

The can opener isn’t working anymore.

 

Guess it’s can’t opener now.

 

Best One-liner Dad Jokes

 

Dad jokes are so funny that even one-liner dad jokes are a hit! Find out more funny dad jokes below.

 

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.

 

It’s impossible to put down!

 

I’m on a seafood diet.

 

I see food and I eat it.

 

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

 

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.

 

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

 

Don’t trust atoms.

 

They make up everything!

 

I would avoid the sushi if I were you.

 

It’s a little fishy!

 

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

 

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

 

So I packed up my stuff and right!

 

I thought about going on an all-almond diet…

 

But that’s just nuts!

 

RIP boiled water, you will be mist

 

Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.

 

It was a briefcase.

 

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

 

Spring is here!

 

I got so excited I wet my plants!

 

I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!

 

I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop.

 

It was sole destroying!

 

R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist.

 

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.

 

She seemed surprised!

 

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

 

You have my Word!

 

I tell dad jokes but I have no kids…I’m a faux pa!

 

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip?

 

I was heels over head!

 

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!

 

Laugh more: best boss jokes for the office

 

I’ll call you later.

 

Don’t call me later, call me Dad!

 

Don't spell part backward. It's a trap

 

My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.

 

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

 

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory, all I did was take a day off!

 

Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

 

I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!

 

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

 

Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.

 

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

 

Don’t spell part backward.

 

It’s a trap.

 

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.

 

Whenever I lose my TV controller, I always find it at a remote location.

 

Keep the dream alive — hit your snooze button.

 

It sure takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

 

 

I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.

 

Animal testing is a terrible idea — they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

 

Thanks for watching!

Big Bill Rizer

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