Funny Jokes About Sex One Liners | Funny Short Sex Jokes For Adults

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Tueday, 06/09/2016 09:09
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Jokes About Sex

 

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Jokes About Sex,Funny Short Sex Jokes For Adults

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What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

 

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

 

What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

 

But do you know what 6.9 is? A good thing screwed up by a period.

 

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.

 

The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.

 

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

 

Funny Short Sex Jokes For Adults For Him Ever Of The Day

 

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

 

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

 

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

 

My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

 

Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.

 

My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... so I got drunk.

 

Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!

 

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

 

Having sex (jokes about sex) in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

 

Three words to ruin a man's ego...? "Is it in?"

 

I think sex (jokes about sex) is better than logic, but I can't prove it.

 

What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"? About three inches.

 

How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

 

Don't judge women by kilos, and you won't be judged by centimeters.

 

What do you have when you have two balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention!

 

Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.

 

What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut will have sex with anyone, a bitch will have sex with anyone but you.

 

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

 

Men approve of premarital sex until daughters are born.

 

A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said, "Depends on what's in it for me."

 

Did you get those yoga pants on sale? Because at my house they're 100% off,

 

For my next trick I need a condom and a volunteer...

 

What's a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.

 

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket.

 

Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.

 

I'm trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot.

 

Jokes about sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

 

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

 

That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.

 

Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.

 

If you dont believe in Oral Sex, keep your mouth shut

 

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.(Funny Short Sex Jokes For Adults)

 

Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love.

 

I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage.

 

Whats long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber.

 

Jokes about sex, Sex is like air; its not important unless you arent getting any.

 

Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.

 

I'd like to think inside your box.

 

Why does the Law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service!

 

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: a rip off

 

Because of the disregard towards safety techniques people not only die but are also born.

 

Have a girl that everyone else dreams about, but don't dream about a girl that everyone else has.

 

Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

 

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