Funny Halloween Jokes and Comics

Happy Halloween! We dare you not to scream with laughter when you read these funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny Halloween joke?

 

Joe: What do you call wood when it’s scared?

Bob: I don’t know.

Joe: Petrified!

Joke submitted by Daniel B., Lincoln, Neb.

Comic by Daryll Collins

 

Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?

Matthew: I don’t know. What?

Michael: Candy corneas.

Joke submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.

 

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.

Joke submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.

 

A book never written: “All That’s Left of Me” by Myra Maines.

Joke submitted by Kieran F., Emporia, Kan.

 

Brett: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?

Brent: I don’t know.

Brett: Wrap music!

Joke submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio

 

 

Spencer: What plants like Halloween the most?

Tanner: Which ones?

Spencer: Bam-BOO!

Joke submitted by Tanner S., Tampa, Fla.

 

Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?

McKenzie: Why?

Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.

Joke submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.

 

 

Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?

Brian: Tell me.

Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!

Joke submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.

 

Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?

Sam: I’m stumped.

Max: A sand-witch!

Joke submitted by Maxwell C.

 

John: Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?

Mark: Why?

John: He didn’t have the stomach for it!

Joke submitted by John C., Houston, Texas

 

Sam: What do you call a cleaning skeleton?

Frank: I don’t know.

Sam: The “grim sweeper.”

Joke submitted by Sam M., Pittsburgh, Pa.

 

Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch on Halloween?

Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.

Chris: Being her broom!

Joke submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.

 

Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.

Joke submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.

 

Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?

Philip: I don’t know.

Jake: Because they were trans-parents!

Joke submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.

 

Darius: What part of the street do vampires live on?

Chad: I don’t know.

Darius: The dead end.

Joke submitted by Darius C., Columbia, Md.

 

Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?

Nolan: I don’t know.

Brandon: The Boogie Man!

Joke submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.

 

Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game on Halloween?

Francisco: What?

Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.

Joke submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.

 

Rich: Why do they put fences around graveyards?

Mitch: Tell me.

Rich: Because people are dying to get in!

Joke submitted by Richard D., Granville, Ohio

 

Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?

Woody: Why?

Jerry: It raises their spirits.

Joke submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.

 

Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Belia: What?

Joshua: Bamboo.

Joke submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.

 

Gavin: What do you call a tired skeleton on Halloween?

Connor: Beats me.

Gavin: The “grim sleeper.”

Joke submitted by Gavin H., Stoughton, Mass.

 

Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?

Tom: What?

Tim: Booberry pie.

Joke submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio

 

Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?

Jerry: I dunno.

Tom: The living room!

Joke submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.